Easy

Am I that easy to let go?

Am I that easy to forget?

Am I that easy to fool?

Is it easier to just make me as plan B?

Is it easier to flirt around while I am waiting?

Is it easier to ignore me?

Was it that easy to lie to me even if I already found out?

Was it that easy to say you didn’t know when all this time I am suppressing pain?

Was it that easy to just say I deserve better, when you can’t stand up for me?

I am fading away.

Carry on, even if it hurts

I admit that I am still in a depressed state. Things seem to look uninteresting. Every food seems to taste bland or bad. I haven’t eaten anything more than two spoonfuls. Sleep comes difficult, short, and shallow.

Caving for too long is not an option now. My calendar for October is filling up, and I will be everywhere starting this month until May. There is no time to run away and hide. I want to show up at every appointment, but my heart is still in pain.

If given a day or two to be free, before I file my candidacy, I want to escape to somewhere far. I want to bask under the sun. get soaked in the beach and do nothing but cry. My heart is still really in pain.

 

Fading away

Like a thin air…

I kissed your face goodnight

Without you feeling it.

I embraced you tight

Without you seeing it.

I am fading away.

Peacefully. Silently.

Maybe when everybody else is sleeping.

Like a thin air, I will soon fade away.

I am ready, I guess.

Silently. When everyone else is sleeping.