The Come Back

The idea of becoming a lawyer creates a kilig feeling in me. When I started law school right after my college graduation, I was too excited for everything that’s going to happen to me. Most often, I let things happen as it may come. The hunger for learning continued. Contrary to my prediction (that I am going to have failing grades in my first year in law school), I never got any 5.0 in my record. How the hell did that happen? For someone who graduated in Mass Communication degree, no background in law, no strict study habits, nor did memorize any principle in college, passed her first year in law school? I remembered how I lament over failed quizzes and embarrassment from oral recitation. Crying over the phone to my mom several times. Telling her how hurt and ashamed I am.

Things went a bit shaky in the second year. I broke up with my long-term boyfriend and things went into chaos. Physically, emotionally, mentally, spiritually. I was super unstable that I got a corporate employment and learn the art of destruction. I failed two subjects intentionally. Plus, I went crazy over getting lost anywhere. I lost it.

The interest, the habits, and even the drive to become a lawyer went to nothing. My third year in law school also became a playground. I prioritized election campaign over my studies. I passed some but went too lax on others. I stopped in my fourth year and tried to suit myself into the position. Well, I wasted a lot of money by withdrawing my enrolled subjects.

God had been using a lot of people to draw me back to my goal. To remind me that I ought to pursue something that will make me more fulfilled. Politics can be too inviting, but I cannot be in position for a lifetime. I cannot be elected every time. It is too unpredictable. Last month, I received two phone calls and crossed roads with two more who, out of the blue, reminded me that I can do better than politics. That I should not forget to do something for myself – career.

I then realized that I am turning 25 next month. What have I done in my life so far? I became too complacent thinking that I am still very young and I have a lot of time to do the things that I want. No. I don’t have much time left to establish my career. This is the perfect time to earn another degree – a position with no office hours, I can sustain my studies, and studying law will be very beneficial to take things one step higher in this field. A deep sense of guilt and despair crept in my spine when I saw my batchmates graduate and received their diploma. No, not because I do not want them well, but because I have taken things for granted. But I know that taking a break from law school for a year was necessary.

Now, it feels like I am back in the first year. I am excited that I enrolled again but I am a little scared that I might have forgotten the basic principles of law.

Above all, I believe that I am destined to accomplish this goal. I am done playing and fooling around. I have two years left in service. Thus, I have two years to finish all my units in law school. Perhaps, proclaiming this here in my blog is one way to make myself accountable for what I am saying.

I must graduate in March 2019. Get ready for re-election in May 2019. Take the November 2019 bar examination.

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