Wanders over a cup of warm milk

My mind wanders to somewhere I do not even know. Are we moving forward?

Sometimes I feel like I do not have the right to feel my emotions. Sometimes I feel like I do not have a right to express my opinion. Sometimes I feel like I do not have a right to dream for myself and pursue it. I too also wish to speak my mind and walk in the streets carefree – unafraid.

Emotions. They carry us away if we let them. But it’s 2:5AM and I feel very tired but I cannot go back to sleep.

Went back to bed. Raised my hand and played with the ray of light coming from the tiny bulb outside this room. I grew skinny, lost a little muscle mass, I noticed. I ain’t getting enough sleep.

It’s midterms next week and there is not much time here. I am still a woman, and I also long for transparency.

He is sound asleep. Snoring sweetly that echoes through the silent night. He is amazing. He has a lot of dreams.

I finished the cup of warm milk with a hope that I could go back to sleep. That the wandering of thoughts will go back to its place. How lovely it could have been if we are not afraid of claiming what we deserve.

I do not anymore want to see what is hidden from me. No reason will ever be valid for this capricious want that I have – I just have a gut feeling. I just wanted to see the mask he is wearing behind my back. But I said, no reason will ever be valid, it’s just gut feeling. Because in any other way, whether I see what’s hidden or not, time is passing by without me knowing to whom shall I run or who will join me battle with misery at this hour.

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