A child-like heart to play

Rarely you can find a person whom you can pursue deeper level of conversations and who is also in the same level of being a child-at-heart like you.

Ferdinand is creating a bigger picture of what I had been missing in my life all this time – the heart of gratitude.

Our random city roadtrips take us to random places where we could eat and play. While we were done with our individual reading lists, we took Moana (my car, yes I named my car Moana, haha) to Molo Plaza.

“It has been ages ago since I last played in a children’s park like this!”, he said.

“Me too”, while my eyes welled up in little tears of joy.

Who could imagine that we both shared loud laughs and amusement more than the toddlers who were also there!

Indeed we should let go of the inhibitions that we have inside us. They do not just destroy our vision of our tomorrows, but also create a regretful heart in us.

Today, do not be afraid to do something that you really like to do when you were a kid. *wink*

Why do you doubt?

Lately, I had been letting some random thoughts creep in my mind. Some, I savor for a little more time. Some, I let go.

Our lives are not perfect. Neither are our decisions. There is no point in crying over spilled milk, but you have the chance to redeem yourself.

I sometimes feel that I have forgotten all that I have learned in post-graduate studies. Nay, most of the time, my judgement is not perfect. Most of the time, I am just creating monsters within myself.

Well, I had been crippled by unhealthy relationships for the past two years, but I never regret any of it. Why? Because I have learned a lot from all the mistakes, the harsh decisions, the premature moves, and all the swing of melancholic emotions. I learned from him. I will never forget that.

What’s the point? I am just saying, whatever goals that you have postponed and you desire to pursue again, you have two choices today. First, you move on. Second, you keep your eye on the prize.

Move on. Do not be afraid of them monsters. You created them, so you can destroy them. I mean, your fear of starting over again may be daunting, I feel you. But if you dont let go of all the anxieties, you will lose the race. Get up and gear up. Brace yourself for the huge comeback.

Keep your eye on the prize. No one said that it will be an easy road. Remind yourself why you started to pursue the goal in the first place.

The vast sea of doubt created huge waves inside me. What if I can’t do it again this time? What if I lose the heart to keep reading? What if I have forgotten my foundation?

Peter said to [Jesus] in reply, “Lord, if it is you, command me to come to you on the water.” He said, “Come.” Peter got out of the boat and began to walk toward Jesus. But when he saw how strong the wind was, he became frightened; and, beginning to sink, he cried out, “Lord, save me!” Immediately, Jesus stretched out his hand and caught Peter, and said to him, “O you of little faith, why do you doubt?”
— The Gospel of St. Matthew, 14:28-31

Keep the faith ladies!

On Quality Time: Put your smartphones down, please?

“Come over to the city and let’s catch up!”

Well, when you are one special person in my life, I would not hesitate to drive an hour and a half going to the city. Why? Because spending quality time with friends and special persons is my second love language.

Though I missed those days when smartphones are not the most essential thing in everyone’s lives. Today, as we dine in restaurants or hangout at coffee shops, all I see are groups of people gathered around one table but each one is engrossed into the glowing screens of his/her smartphones. I turned my attention to the other table and I see a family waiting for their food, no conversations – just smartphones.

It is sad to see how a small glowing screen can steal away precious opportunities to connect with real people in front of you. Not with the virtual sh*t that creates communication gaps among members of the family. I hate what I am seeing. I hate how friendships and relationships become just another instagrammable-worthy shot without real foundation. Just empty, chic, and cool photos with many likes.

All photos, all “day stories”, but never a single sensible conversation.

The idea of dining out / chillin’ out when food is served, instead of saying grace first for all the blessings, everyone shall painstakingly take IG boomerang and burst shots. So that every virtual online “friend” (whom you don’t really talk to or greet at school) will see how cool and how fancy your group hangouts are. After the photoshoot, dive into the food without saying grace.

I hate seeing couples sitting close together, but never talking – just scrolling out what’s new with other people’s lives. What a waste of time, what a waste of life.

The problem with today’s dependence and addiction to smartphones is not the device itself. It is how humans make it as the most indispensable thing in their body. It becomes a part of their body. Without it, humans cannot function properly. He can neither solve a simple math problem (i.e., how much should be his change when buying in a store) without the use of his phone’s calculator or take notes in class without a phone (while you can use actual pen and paper). You see, the dependence makes us dumb.

You will know that you are addicted to your phone when you have the “twitch” which becomes a natural reflex that you suddenly check on your phone from time to time. To check on whether someone liked your photo or commented on your post. To check on whether you received any notification. Or whatever that you do on social media. Twitching is an indication that you have made your phones an extension of your body. Your hand feels itchy when it is not holding your device. Or you suddenly panic when you felt your phone is not in your pocket. It is really an awful feeling to be addicted to something.

The last time I went out with my girls, I was quite insulted by their frequent and incessant use of phones. To the extent that when we exchange stories, they keep on asking me to repeat because they were chatting with another person virtually.

It’s not that I am hungry for attention. I just do not like “killing time”. Well, if you want to kill time, at least don’t drag me into it because I want to make the time worthwhile. The entire afternoon went by and the only thing I remembered was the picture of them on their phones. We went to a coffee shop and shared silence and their face glowing with small screens.

I would like to pose a challenge to you today. For just two hours today, could you try to turn off your phone and keep it somewhere you can’t see – out of your sight. Just see what happens and see what possible feelings it would create for you when you live just for two hours without your smartphone. Just carry on with your normal daily routine, and start a  face to face conversation with a friend, family member, or someone.

Or on your next dinner date with your family or friends, or your significant other, put your phone on silent mode, and keep it inside your bag or better leave it home just for dinner. Pay attention to your conversations and see what happens.

Then share your story with me please, I would love to hear your realizations!

Move on and get rid of memorable stuff

Hey lady,

I know it has been hard for you to keep your mind off your ex, but it is quite normal for you to feel a little tinge of nostalgia when you remember him in some hours of the day. Well, I know that you try to be in your most productive self by keeping yourself busy all day long. In pursuit of moving on and forgetting the guy who first forgot about you, there is this one tip that I would like to share with you today.

It is not a promise of an instant feeling of amnesia, but it is a helpful way to gradually move on from his memories. Just to make a point, I am not saying you should curse your ex and hate him every single day because I believe that most of the romantic relationships were good when it lasted.

My last romantic relationship didn’t really end well and it is still hanging. But we can’t keep ourselves tied to something that has a potential to become better when we end it at this point. I believe he has a great future ahead without me in his life. He has a lot of dreams and aspirations, but he has to go out on his own while I, too, should make myself become a better woman.

Anyway, it would help you move forward if you get rid of his stuff in your life. Like tangible things that he has given you or you both have. Those twinning caps, twinning shirts, his shirts in your closet, those enormous teddy bears he gave on your anniversary, those love letters you keep in a special box, and those sweet photos on your phone.

Believe me, this is one good way of helping yourself move on. While I actually packed all the stuff inside my room that reminds me of him, I prayed before I did it. I prayed that God will not put a hateful heart in me, rather He will bless my ex and me in moving forward and live a more intentional life separately.

It will be a little dramatic or you might feel a little lump in your throat while getting rid of those things, but be brave sis. You know that a lot of girls here can listen to you.

You can leave me an email and tell me how your packing went. I would love to hear your stories. 🙂

On politics: the dilemma of being in the middle of clashing personal agenda

There are several reasons why I want to keep serving as a local legislator in our small municipality. One of them is that I get to create laws and ordinances that would create a positive impact and general welfare in the community. It is cool to learn various rules in drafting local laws. I actually find it more interesting to write a draft and have my mentor critique my work, this way I could at least be comfortable with my own style.

In my first term as a Sangguniang Bayan Member (konsehal or councilor), I was assigned as the chairperson on Committee on Education and Tourism, Committee on Housing and Land Use, and Committee on Youth and Sports. These three are among those tagged as ‘critical committees’ because they entail huge responsibilities and they usually have more activities compared to other minor committees. Indeed, they need extra work and extra effort in learning their system.

Sometimes, I get to converse with some of my young co-legislators in other municipalities. We share experiences and learning being councilors.

“It’s hard to keep the harmony among your colleagues in the council when everyone wants to climb up the stairs and be in a higher position for the next election.”

“I do not know how to react when the person whom I am answerable to asks me to do something which I know would ruin another person’s dignity.”

“I am not sure whom should I trust.”

Well I guess, being a young politician entails great courage to stand your ground and at the same time keep the ground fair for everyone. Personally, I was not pre-conditioned to become a politician. Nor my parents trained me to have good tactics in enriching myself at the expense of others. Since the day I took an oath in serving as a public servant, I just knew that I should protect the people who entrusted me this official function.

Lately, I had been faced with a dilemma between following orders and protecting my constituents. Should I immediately submit to the orders and please the persons above me, or should I disobey and make alternative routes in resolving issues. The latter would create a level ground for fair judgement, but it may displease authorities.

I ain’t a righteous person, but I desire to make decisions based on what I know is right. Not stabbing another person behind their back. I know less about using powers to get everything on my side, but I do not want other people to use me to get what they want at the expense of others.