Why do you doubt?

Lately, I had been letting some random thoughts creep in my mind. Some, I savor for a little more time. Some, I let go.

Our lives are not perfect. Neither are our decisions. There is no point in crying over spilled milk, but you have the chance to redeem yourself.

I sometimes feel that I have forgotten all that I have learned in post-graduate studies. Nay, most of the time, my judgement is not perfect. Most of the time, I am just creating monsters within myself.

Well, I had been crippled by unhealthy relationships for the past two years, but I never regret any of it. Why? Because I have learned a lot from all the mistakes, the harsh decisions, the premature moves, and all the swing of melancholic emotions. I learned from him. I will never forget that.

What’s the point? I am just saying, whatever goals that you have postponed and you desire to pursue again, you have two choices today. First, you move on. Second, you keep your eye on the prize.

Move on. Do not be afraid of them monsters. You created them, so you can destroy them. I mean, your fear of starting over again may be daunting, I feel you. But if you dont let go of all the anxieties, you will lose the race. Get up and gear up. Brace yourself for the huge comeback.

Keep your eye on the prize. No one said that it will be an easy road. Remind yourself why you started to pursue the goal in the first place.

The vast sea of doubt created huge waves inside me. What if I can’t do it again this time? What if I lose the heart to keep reading? What if I have forgotten my foundation?

Peter said to [Jesus] in reply, “Lord, if it is you, command me to come to you on the water.” He said, “Come.” Peter got out of the boat and began to walk toward Jesus. But when he saw how strong the wind was, he became frightened; and, beginning to sink, he cried out, “Lord, save me!” Immediately, Jesus stretched out his hand and caught Peter, and said to him, “O you of little faith, why do you doubt?”
— The Gospel of St. Matthew, 14:28-31

Keep the faith ladies!

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